ariesfloyd

In every human being that I've met, and in every one that I never have, there are usually two, very different personalities. It's not any form of schizophrenia, nor multiple personality disorder, nor even something that is wrong. Everyone just has two sides to them (unless they do have multiple personality disorder, then it's just an extreme situation).

We all have that personality that we exhibit for the majority of the time. The side of us that we show everyone and that everyone knows, and how everyone judges us and categorizes us in their minds. Johnny is a straight-A student who loves to skateboard in his free time and is the sociable, amicable one amongst his classmates. His teachers love him and give him the respect that he shows them. Alex is a business-oriented, selfish guy that doesn't let anyone think that he has the slightest bit of softer emotions. He comes from a wealthy family, and while he is respectable and well-mannered, he comes off as the type that doesn't open up, and has no remorse for making others feel like shit when he argues with them. Danielle works for a non-profit organization that helps underprivileged children. She has many close friends who come to her when they need someone to comfort and talk to them. Her acts all seem so selfless and it is just a wonder that there are still people like Danielle in the world.

We all know people like this. We all categorize them in our minds, and we all have that internal capacity to judge them based on our first impressions of these personalities.

However, what about their other sides? Have we ever bothered to talk to someone so as to investigate their alter egos? What else lies beneath that facade that we so often tend to forget about? How do we know the genuinity of the actions of these people? How do we know that Johnny is a reliable classmate, and that Alex is a soul-less asshole? How do we know that Danielle doesn't have alterior motives as her friends' therapist? The truth is, we don't. I know people just like everyone listed above, and over the past 3 or 4 years, I have seen underneath people like Johnny, Alex, and Danielle.

Johnny ended up doing coke for a few years, landing himself in a depression that just looped into itself. He lost the only woman he ever loved after cheating on her multiple times. Johnny was self-destructive to himself and to those around him. Who would have known? Alex has secretly been in love with a girl that he has no chance with because she has been dating one of his friends for over a year. But Alex doesn't have any real friends that he can open up to about it, so he just keeps all of his emotions inside. He tries to play it off as if it doesn't bother him, but deep down inside, his other personality is screaming for someone to love him. Danielle, while she does love helping her friends through their troubles, only does so because she constantly expects something in return. She has selfish tendencies and gets visibly upset and bothered when her friends don't even care to ask how she's doing, or what's been on her mind. She needs to get so much out, but instead of asking for an ear, she expects the same care in return, and when it doesn't happen, she just gets more upset. She feels like she deserves to be treated like a queen for her actions. Even with her job, she expects so much recognition for her volunteer work, when she only should be doing it for herself.

Like I said before, there's nothing wrong with people having these alternate personalities. I have one, you have one, your mom and dad have one, even your baby cousin has one. In fact, it's a lot easier to notice it in small children and toddlers. This post was just to get this thought out there; I feel like my alternate personality tends to get the best of me. It really bothers me and in the end I just regret the things I say and the people I hurt in the process. I've been well aware of this alternate personality of mine, and there are even times in my life when I've let it take full control of me, consciously and knowingly. I'll never make that mistake again, but until then, I guess I need to keep it under control. I love those that are close to me, and I wouldn't forgive myself for doing or saying anything that would hurt them.

Dolce vita,
               --Aries

Growing up in a Jewish house, the family connection has always been very strong. I love my mother, father and sister very much. In fact, if the transition from high school to college has shown me anything, its that the connection within the family makes itself very apparent how close we all are. Home is a little over an hour away from me, but I didn't go home for Mother's Day. Not that I don't love my mom or want to wish her all the best, but I didn't see the reason. I don't really like my hometown all too much, and my parents went out to see a show for the evening. I called my mother and wished my best.

For the first time in a while, I listened to Ace of Base's "The Sign" album. I literally haven't listened to this album in its entirety since I was about 8 or 9 years old. I forgot most of the songs, but the more popular ones came to me a little more smoothly. Hearing these songs again induced such a feeling of nostalgia that made me pretty happy. Seeing my life at this point in relation to all those years ago, I truly couldn't be happier with my progress. I've accomplished a lot in a pretty small amount of time, and have met so many amazing people along the way that have made my life full of experiences, joys, and philosophies.

But most of all, I remembered mom, and all that mom has done for me since I was a little sniveling, spoiled shit. How much mom has gone through for me, and for all of my crazy needs and ideas is just a reflection of the relationship we have. As much as my mom annoys me and drives me crazy at times, she has every right to be as annoying as she wants to be. For G-d's sake, I came out of the woman, I feel like I still have to make up for those hours of labor.

I guess what I'm trying to get at here is that your mother is the only one you will ever have (unless you're a test tube baby with 2 moms, then good luck). Treat her with kindness and respect and love and honor, no matter how crazy you think she is, no matter how bitchy she's being that day, no matter how much you think she doesn't understand you and never will. She's there, and always will be.

Dolce vita

--Aries